another hurdle

by thursday afternoon, wyatt was doing a lot better. we finished the 4x/day antibiotics and we got in to see dr. matthews a few days earlier. i was excited to see him without his nose stitches and hear how wyatt was healing in his eyes.

take it back. it was an awful appointment.

he sutures had to come out. they held his hands over his head and he flipped out. i am pretty tough with this stuff, but once he cut the tubes and tried to get the new ones up, i was toast and just buried my head into jack and let it flow. i HATED hearing him scream. i had heard enough. i knew someone in the waiting room and she texted me that she heard him and hoped i was okay.

then he taped him up, showed us how to do it and said he was to wear the tape like this for 4 months.

i knew that. he told me that over and over, but i was in denial. wyatt was going to be different. he was going to not need it. nope. and look at this tape job. seriously? i thought it would be tape over the lip....well, the tubes have to stay in and for that to happen, you need to tape him up like a man wraps a present. all the heck over. the tubes popped out 3 times friday. 3 TIMES!!! i was pissed. he had to go through torture 4 times in one day. i cry a lot changing them because i don't think it is fair. a baby shouldn't have to cry and have his hands pulled over his head EVERY DAY for four months. it's not right.

later that day, my friend giordana came over to help during bath and dinner time which was so helpful. plus, the boys and i loved seeing her and she brought some smiles out of wyatt ;)

still handsome with all that shit on his face! excuse me, but i get mad and it all is pretty shitty to me. so, tapes and tubes are shit!

all the pics of him lately just make him look so worn out. well, he is. we don't sleep and he is tortured daily with the tubes and tape. hell, i aged 10 years in the past 10 days...and ran 2 red lights last week!

but, life goes on and we had a great day saturday dying batman eggs and seeing some of my best friends that came into town for the weekend - LOVED seeing them! plus, i got to get out for an hour to have a drink with the girls and it was so nice to just be "me"...i haven't felt much like "me" in while

sweet lawton, growing up before our eyes into such a wonderful little boy ;)

lawton is learning to have a lot of patience....which i think will be wonderful for him later in life. this morning, i was crying while changing wyatts tubes and lawton looked at me, brought me a tissue, wiped my tears and said it's okay mommy, don't cry and gave me a hug while he whispered i love you mommy.

as moms, THAT makes it all worth it. just a simple sentence.

he is off spending the week with his cousins in fayettville and was SO SO SO excited! thank you mandy and dale, emie and will! we love you!