5 months

are we already here yet???

5 months:

-you are 15 pounds, 2 ounces and 25.75 inches long!

-you have already had the throw up bug and now croup, and one ER visit to date.

-you are STILL sleeping in our room and STILL going to bed too late (new years goal of mine!)

-you are eating cereal in most bottles and tried it with a spoon last night (pics to come!)

-wearing 3-6 month clothing but the arms and legs are getting a bit too short for you

-you only like to be held which is SUPER hard at times. not happy when i put you down to "play"

-rolling all over the place. you roll to your belly almost immediately when put on your back

-starting to sleep on your belly

-waking up around 3 or 4am most nights. why? no clue. i think you just want in our bed because i aint feeding you then buddy - we are not starting that!

-you are finally starting to belly laugh a bit...i'm not sure if it has to do with your palate being open or not, but you aren't laughing a ton, LOTS of smiles and big coos

-you love to hear your voice. you just hum or say ahhhhhh a lot.

-you are very ticklish and that is when we hear a few laughs

-people often compliment you on your eyes - they must tell a good story ;)

-you are getting blonder and lighter skin by the day!

-you like to be around me or someone a lot. not happy when alone.

-last night was the first night we let you "cry it out" upstairs alone. i just drank wine. SO hard to hear you do this and we have totally been lax with you. hope it doesn't bite us in the butt more than it has already, but buddy, you are different than your brother, you needed a little bit more care at night, etc.

-you really love toys now....reaching and playing and very curious

-very oral. hands, well, fist in your mouth often. grabbing things and chewing on them. your brother was not like this, so i am a bit worried about when you start crawling and pick up a lego or two!

-taking a morning and afternoon nap

- all in all, a happy boy!

 

i can't believe you are 5 months. i remember hearing dr. matthews say he would close your lip between 6-9 months. all we had heard before we met with him was most drs close the lip at 3 months. i remember thinking 6-9 months seemed so long to wait. once you were born, that seemed too soon. as the weeks go by the the surgery gets closer, i just want to back the time up.

 

i love you and look forward to many more "milestones" and watching you discover the world all around you. happy 5 months love bug.



christmas 2012

 

we had such a wonderful christmas this year! no one was sick (until the day we got home) and everyone was happy and healthy...couldn't ask for anything better right?

christmas eve we went over to my cousins' house with all of my dad's side of the family, we didn't stay long because santa was coming and the elves had some work to do!

lawton woke up to a few toys and his face lit up!! such a fun thing to see ;)

 after santa, we packed everyone up and went over to my parents to open gifts. this year lawton had some of his best gifts given to him by others besides us...i picked most out, so we had a low key one at home and that way, he had so much to look forward to (as did i - i was just as excited for him!)

 cars 2 garage from uncle trent -HUGE hit. anything CARS and Batman is A+ to lawton

 my parents - they look great don't they?!?!

 BATMAN!

 

after that, we packed the crew again and headed to jack's sisters house in fayetteville. we stayed there two nights and had the BEST time. everyone slept well (huge bonus!) and they kids had a BLAST. so many wonderful memories made!

wyatt with aunt mandy

 lots of wrestling. LOTS.

 great uncle hugh playing with wyatt

 jack and his dad, billy. they dont' look alike at all do they? ;)

 sweet wyatt

 

 

 playing the kids new something....no controls, just movement - it was amazing. i danced 2 songs and was out of breath. jack was running so fast and would have to sit down. we are old.

 lawton's santas bag present to aunt mandy - chritstmas tree earrings! ha! can't wait to see those next year mandy ;))

 new strider bike

 

and look who is getting super easy to feed?! cousin emily, like i have said before is the ULTIMATE babysitter. she turns 9 in a few days and ASKED me if she could feed him. she was so confident and didn't bat a lash. she even watched tv while she did it and didn't worry a second. love that! now, if she could only move to charlotte.... ;))

and out...

we weren't sad to leave this year for the first time because everyone was coming to charlotte in 2 days for wyatt's baptism! yay!

 

we were so blessed to have a wonderful Christmas and be around our family....it was a very special few days!

WWH surgery update

 we had another appointment with dr. matthews and i knew this would be one of the last before wyatt's surgery.

wyatt will have his surgery at the end of february/beginning of march...they will call us with a date soon but it also depends on if he has a cold, etc because in that case, he will not operate until he is well.

but, he is thriving and ready.

his mom? not ready at ALL.

all i heard when i told people we were having a baby with a cleft lip and palate or when they see him is :" it's fixable"." it's amazing what these drs can do now". "you won't be able to tell later in life"....well you know what? i am so scared about them "fixing" this smile. this contagious, wide, open mouthed smile that i more than adore.
 

we asked some hard questions today....what should i be prepared for in how he will look after surgery? when will his worst days be? how long will he be in the hospital?

the answers were hard to hear. i think i might have blacked out a bit. my mom was with us which is great because she asks great questions and writes everything down for us. i usually want to throw up and shut down for the rest of the day.

 

i don't even know where to begin....

let's see....he will be very swollen after surgery and will continue to swell even worse for up to 3 days post surgery.

he will have black eyes
he will have stitches across his nose and tape over his lip

he will have a tube in his nose to breathe that will stay in for 4 MONTHS.  his lip will be taped and will need to be taped for 4 MONTHS. we will change his tube and tape everyday and clean it after he eats, drinks, bathes. then we have another surgery. i had NO IDEA  that a tube will be in that nostril...i think it is to help with the structure of his nostril that he does not have now. if you feel your nose, you have cartilage and muscle that wyatt only has on one side. he will "build up" the flat side and that causes the eyes to bruise.

the goal is to have him breathing through his nose. with his palate open, air goes in and out through that hole. with it closed (the soft palate in the back), he will have to learn how to breathe through his nose. dr matthews will close as much as he can in this surgery. the one year surgery will be to close the top  (hard palate).

i am trying to be positiveand strong but it's tough. my emotions can get the best of me i am scared to see him after surgery. i am scared i won't take in all the info the drs are telling me. i am scared he will be in pain with this thing in his nose. with the tape, he can't sleep on his belly (which he does now because he rolls everywhere), so i was told to watch him. looks like i won't be sleeping for a while! i pray that he won't mess with the tape and tube....he will be crawling, etc by then...

back to positive....i keep thinking about how hard the first month of his life was for me. wyatt did great. he was strong when he choked. he took bottles down and learned so well. i was scared to drive anywhere in case he choked, scared to hurt him while feeding him, etc. now, we are smooth sailing. well, i am giving myself a month to get the hang of the "new normal" come february/march. if i don't want to leave the house because of germs, etc, i won't and that will be okay. if i don't sleep for a month watching him like a hawk, that will be okay because after that, will will be smooth sailing right? up until he has surgery again, that is....then we do it all over.

i want to state that this isn't about me. i know that there were a lot of "i's" in this post....I am the one that doesn't want him to have the surgery, I am the one that worries for him, I am the one that is terrified to see him so bruised.....I am the one that will need some high medication that day, but i am just writing from my heart....these are my feelings, my thoughts, my fears.
bear with me friends.

as for now, i am going to soak up these last few weeks of this HUGE cleft lipped smile of my sweet wyatt's because it's a gorgeous one.


good for the soul

you know when you have friends, and they just "get" you? the ones you want to spend most of your time with, the ones you call for anything and they are there, where anything goes? these are ours. like family.

good for the soul.

 the chapmans

 the whites

 the culps

 the halls

 

last friday we had our christmas supper club at vivace. each couple drew another couple for a present exchange. the deal was that you could only spend $20. so, get creative.

 ian making a toast and giving out the first present....

as you can see, we had a VERY good time and somehow it all turned out a bit 50 shades of grey..... ;) i'll leave it up to your imagination!

lots of laughs, lots of smiles, lots of good food and wine...

good for the soul.

decorating the tree!

last sunday after nyc, we decorated the tree and this year, it took 2 days which was actually nice. night one was lights and night two was ornaments. i love looking through the boxes of ornaments because each one actually does mean something to us. jack and i started collecting ornaments when we were first married and have searched for them every trip, etc and so our tree is filled with memories.

i love looking all all white trees, or trees with a theme - they are gorgeous, but i prefer the memory tree that might look a mess to some people! ;) 

this year it was fun to add a few that lawton loves - 2 lightning mcqueens, some planes and action heroes ;)

i am loving seeing chrsitmas through the eyes of a almost 3 year old! everything is so huge and exciting and i love it ;)

i was going to take a picture of the tree with the ornaments hung, but lawton has moved so many around the the branches are already falling. waa waa. it sure looked good that night though!

oh, and by the way. we have had a full week of being sick...like the "stomach bug" sick. i think about it everyday. everyday people!!! i HATE this bug and it was the perfect storm. jack was out of town, both kids throwing up, i took a zofran so i wouldn't throw up (which was good and bad) and then jack sick in san fran, his mother sick, and now my dad who helped us when jack was out of town. ready for winter to be over with....i dread all these nasty germs coming into my house! get outta here!! you are totally getting me behind in my shopping, drinking and eating, and festivities planned over the holidays!
GET.OUT.OF.MY,LIFE.YOU NASTY THANG!

proud x100

i woke up feeling so lucky and want to remember this feeling, so here i go....my little blog is the only way to truly let out my feelings and have it set in stone.

 

last night we had jack's work party. this party is huge...like 800 people or so. lots of clients, etc. i have become friends with the wives and even more so after our trip to the bahamas in june with everyone. everyone knew about wyatt's condition when i was pregnant.

 

last night was the first time i had seen most everyone from jack's office since then. they all were so so complimentary of wyatt and each one told me how cute he is and how his smile makes them happy when i post on facebook.

 

 

i was BURSTING with pride. BURSTING.

 

i wouldn't change ONE THING. it's funny, some people said oh no....when they found out we were having a boy with this condition. i myself didn't know what to expect. i grieved not breastfeeding...i never grieved that he wouldn't have a closed lip. not for a second. his LIP, is my favorite part about him. his smile is bigger than any other child's and that, makes him special. i hate that he has to have surgeries, speech therapy, orthodontists, and a scar, but you know what? i wouldn't wish him to have a closed lip for all the money in the world. i have grown so much. i think my friends and family have too. i think people who don't even know us, but hear about him have...at least i believe so.

 

yesterday i was on the treadmill at the y and noticed a tv in front of me with a commercial for smile train. i couldn't take my eyes off those children. i have one of them and damn i am proud. i know their daily struggles with eating and drinking. they aren't a sad group of kids that i think these commercials depict. they are warriors and strong as hell. they just need people's help so they can eat and talk properly. that's it. don't feel sorry for them...they are just like you. next time you see a commercial like it, look into their eyes, not at their mouth.

 

i was in marshalls the other day shopping and i was flirting so much with wyatt that i ran right into a display case and knocked it down. i seriously can't get enough of his smile.

 

last night was awesome for me. i loved bragging on wyatt. i loved being able to say that he is doing great. that we were lucky. everyone was so nice, so thoughtful to care and so happy to see how good we were doing.

today, i am counting my blessings.



santa's bag

last week lawton played hooky and my parents took lawton to "santa's bag" here in charlotte. this is something i remember doing as a child and i always loved getting gifts from my cousins when they were younger - there were always a lot of laughs ;)

this is a great thing where the children go around with elves, carry their list of who to buy for and pick out presents for those specific people. i can't wait to see what lawton thought i would like ;)

mom and dad said he wasn't afraid of santa at all and that he told him he wanted a rake....i found that hard to believe and finally got it out of him that it is "blake" from cars 2, whoever that is.....need to find him stat!

ps- my dad couldn't get over that this santa had an "ear bob" as in earring ;)

in this picture, my mom said there was a little girl right in front of him and this is how he was acting...we are in trouble!!!

such a special thing to do with your grandparents and i am so glad my mom has more time at the moment to spend with us!

all done and lots of loot! bought for everyone and only spent $34! this will be a tradition for many years to come--thanks for taking him mom and dad, he had the best time!

word of the month:

damnit.

 

lawton: chay chay! a bird pooped on your car!

chay chay: i know, rachel still hasn't cleaned it yet.

lawton: awwww, damnit!

 

lawton: you moved the carseat to the other side?

awww, damnit!

 

the ipad is with daddy.

lawton: aww damnit!

 

 

you get the idea.

damnit, this has to stop.

spontaneity

spontaneity is something brooke hall does NOT have.

i have done two spontaneous things in my life and this weekend was one of them.

the other involves a tour bus, and penny lane, but that is another story ;)

my mom, aunt and two cousins and i booked a trip to NYC months ago. the girls had never been and we were excited to show them around. my mom and karen visited me countless times when i lived there and we always had such a great time.

fast forward a few months....2 root canals, 2 crowns, a broken washer, broken computer, and christmas coming and i made the decision not to go because we should save money and could i really leave wyatt yet? so, decision made, i was not going.

fast forward to thanksgiving where i didn't sleep and lawton was being terrible. this past thursday i had a mini breakdown. jack, happened to be in ny for work. i called him bawling and said i have to get out of here. i need a break. should i get a facial this weekend, should i go to a hotel?

he told me i only lived once and to go to nyc. my mom is usually the best devil's advocate, but she was pleading for me to go... 

so, i went. we were happy, happy, happy!

booked dorothy for wyatt, showed her how to feed him thursday night, jack flew in friday morning, i saw him at the airport because we were delayed (loved that part!- seeing him, not the delay) and packed in 5 minutes.

 

cheers to the freakin weekend!

first drinks at 10am friday! i left, no tears, ready to go. i am usually a TERRIBLE flier, but i was so excited to get on a plane and read gossip, relax, shut my eyes.

 dinner/drinks after a long afternoon of shopping in soho - my favorite thing to do!

 karen and her beautiful girls, riley and rachel

 

saturday was a packed day: on the list, the WTC, century 21, times square, shops for the girls and the tree in rockefeller center

 first stop was a bust. we didn't have tickets and it was a long way to walk to get them once we were at the WTC. i was disappointed because i really wanted to see it....next time i guess.

 still happy, happy, happy! no noses to wipe, diapers to carry, only worrying about myself was nice for a few days!

 divas

 mom went off to see a play, so we did the rest on the list. times square which i avoided like the plaque when i lived there ;), but fun to be a tourist

 pit stop for wine and champagne!

 the beautiful tree

 dos caminos (a fav) to end the weekend

on the way out of town, i had to drive by my old place...so many memories here....meeting my parents on the stoop for visits, watching jack coming up in a taxi was always so exciting, getting engaged just inside that building, so so many memories that i will cherish.

BUT, there was nothing like coming home to my 3 boys. been there, done that and glad to go for the weekend. that life led me to my life now and i am happy, happy, happy (as phil from duck dynasty would say;)

being spontaneous was so.much.fun.....need to do it more often--i feel like things seem to work out better without all the worry and preparation!

i made some wonderful memories this weekend and jack EXCEEDED my expectations.....

here's to weekends away, i feel so refreshed!!!!