the truth

our bodies are amazing. they are stronger than you think. women and men can create a child - just incredible!! your mind can do a lot to your body as well...

enter: stress.

even though i am on some great meds (:)), i bumped it down to half a pill last week juuust to see.

well, i had an eye twitch ALL week. so annoying. how do you get eye twitches? stress.

this week i am taking a whole pill.

before and even after my appointments this week, i have had a hard time breathing. i felt this way at the beginning of my pregnancy because i was so worried. what causes this? anxiety.

yesterday as i was about to get out of the car at the TCBY after my last appointment of the week (i celebrate everything with TCBY - ask my mom - have done this since i was 10), i saw it.

GRAY HAIR-S!!!

i admit, i have been in denial. jack has salt and pepper hair and it is hot. my friends have said they have gray hair, and i have always said "oh, i am sure i do too, i have just been dying my hair since i was 14"....not truly believing i actually DID!!! denial.

so, there you go.

eye twitches, breathing issues and gray hairs. all at 31.

jeez.

update on WWH

today was a day that i have been nervous about for 4 weeks. this april 17th day. i didn't want to go to the doctor anymore. i didn't want to go to a "specialist". i didn't want to hear anything else. i just wanted to have wyatt and hold him.

well, i shouldn't have been worried.

i was lucky enough to go to dinner with my doctor last week, who i now call a friend.

i saw my beautiful boy today and man, was he beautiful.

his heart, his brain, were "textbook" material they said. i cried. i cried because the man who did my sonogram was SO nice. i cried because he talked to us, filled us in on what he was doing. told us what he liked seeing. showed us the miracle that wyatt is. my 18 week appointment was scary and silent. today was a day where we were just in awe of him.

when we did the 3D, we saw his cleft and it didn't faze me one bit. he actually looked like lawton ;) i saw this baby, this boy who is ours. i saw a beautiful little lip that is going to be fixed in time.

this time it wasn't scary seeing him. it IS him. this IS wyatt. he IS beautiful and he IS mine.

i can't wait to see him again in 4 weeks.

bring it baby boy ;-)

next stop: interviewing surgeons and seeing what and who are options are. i think i am ready now. i had to take a few weeks to digest everything, and now after today, i am ready for the next step. this boy is strong. this boy is big and this boy will change our life for the better.

ZOO!

this week we met my sister in law and the cousins in asheboro for a fun day! it was such a great idea and i knew lawton would LOVE being with his cousins, so we played hooky from school and had a wonderful day.

with cousins emmie and will ready to see the animals!
this was lawton's first time at the zoo--he freaked out. he LOVED it SO much! it was so much fun to see the amazement and excitement in him that i might have had just as much fun ;)

this is him making a very scary "growl" to the elephant...i taught him something different for an elephant.... it was so loud and more like a tiger with a trunk..

right next to this cute gorilla - he was so excited to be so close

"i touch it mama? i touch it?!"

watching the bear take a little bath ;)

it was the perfect time of year to go, all the animals were out because it wasn't too hot, so if you are close, GO! i seriously think it was lawton's favorite day of his life so far. he was in heaven!

William Wyatt Hall

22 weeks and counting...

- you are moving all the time-much more active than your brother!

-love blts (with turkey of course), oranges, smoothies and tcby

-can't stand baked chicken, but love you some chicken tenders

-are starting to get tired of the candy....but i keep shoving it in my mouth. sorry.

-you don't give me many cravings...but i have eaten a LOT of soup this pregnancy. wth.

-you HATE running. it is embarrassing wyatt. there are other pregnant women in the AC class that are due before you and i have to walk a lap, run a lap and they run hard. i am sure they laugh at me but, as i have said before Hawthornes aren't runners.

-you aren't into music (yet!) as much as lawton was. he would beat to the music in my belly. i will give you time...you'll see, lawton and i jam out in the car and by this time next year, we'll have you singing "shorty got lo lo lo lo lo lo lo" too.

-you make me REALLY clumsy. i drop something everyday. today it was tomato soup all over the kitchen floor, yesterday it was milk all over the driveway. butterfingers might be your nickname.

-PS -- everyone loves your name and that makes me so happy. such a strong name for a strong little boy. i think it is perfect and i know you will be too.

love,

mom.

better late than never

yesterday we had our good friends Van and Betsy Grace over for an easter egg hunt, dying eggs and dinner. i know, i know, Easter has come and gone, but we had a rainy day last week, so we opted to do it monday. i think lawton might freak out when i put up the eggs - he loves them hunting for them...ooooohhhhh eggs!!! where are you???!!! everyday.

lawton and BG finding the eggs

dyeing the eggs

sweet sutton is so patient with the big kids and is so content getting her hands on anything that looks like it can fit in her mouth. i have seen her take down mulch, wood chips and yesterday what we thought was a moth and thank goodness it was a leaf!

having fun after dinner ;)

loving these spring days and enjoying these 4 kids right now....in a few months between the 3 of us, there will be 6 kiddos and hardly any conversation i'm sure!

Easter 2012

the Easter bunny came to visit!

he brought some practical and some entertainment (thanks for the projector idea lindsay!)

if you haven't had these rice crispy peeps, GO NOW. they are delicious. Wyatt can't get enough of them. i keep telling him to stop making me eat sweets, but he won't listen.

we had a wonderful lunch at my parents house that was relaxed and easy. we missed the oxendines, halls and browns though...

i was pretty lazy on taking pictures and deleted all the ones i was in. so, we are left with these few ;( i will take a picture this week of my little wyatt at 22 weeks this coming wednesday...he needs to see how he is growing on this blog and also taking every ounce of moisture i have in my body leaving my face and skin dry, dry, dry. humph. hence why pictures were deleted ;)

but all in all, it was a beautiful day spent with our loved ones. can't beat it.

Spraaang Break 2012

well my friends, how different spring break is when you are a mom! no more beaches, drinks, getting a tan, relaxing....it is go, go, go, keep everyone entertained!

this week was different for us. i sent jack to the masters with his best friend for his birthday and to say that he had a good time is an understatement. he came back with a few scratches and without his bag. if you know my husband, this is typical. his mother finds SOMETHING he has left behind everytime he leaves greensboro or the lake. EVERY TIME. and spending time with duncan is probably going to involve a few scratches ;) they did almost break eachothers neck wrestling in his yeard one time...i did not know him then.

anyway, lawton and i were on our own and we had a great time. i don't know if it is the new meds i am on (thank you meghan!) but nothing bothered me this week--and lawton is in school 4 days a week usually!

ANYway, starting saturday, he decided that he no longer wanted to sleep in his crib. awesome timing bud. SO, i have slept with him in his big boy bed everynight for the past week until we get locks installed on the door. i am calling the lock guy at 8am monday ;)

to be honest, both he and i have slept like babies and i have gotten at least 9 hours of sleep everynight!
this shot was in greensboro when i was there for the funeral. this was a queen bed and i had very little room. i can see why he wanted out of his crib!-boy likes to spread out!

we went to the library one day to get some new books...

we got some yogurt...

we did some practice Easter egg hunts in the back yard....

we caught up on some of our friends blogs....

we went to the playground everyday and met friends...LOVED that part of the week

and some mornings we were just lazy.

then jack came home on thursday and i sent him out again for a surprise drinks and dinner with his good friends. seriously, the meds are working like a charm. the old brooke might have been bitter being alone with a 2 year old that i have to sleep with everynight, not this brooke. the other brooke would have been mad that he left his bag at duncan's house. not THIS brooke! no problem man! the old brooke might have lost her temper a few times at lawton, not this brooke, we had a great week!

ps- the meds info might be TMI, but this is who i am. i tell it like it is. my doctor said it is safe for the baby and he thought it would be a good idea. i am all for it if it is going to lift my spirits for the next few months and help me get through some upcoming hard times. a friend of mine recommended it to me, as she was on them in her pregnancy and i can't thank her enough for the idea.

la ti da ti da!

celebrating

this is a special week in our house! daddy turns 33 this thursday and we started off celebrating with a trip to greensboro sunday night to have dinner with mimi and B. jack got to pick the restaurant....um, OUTBACK. for real. he loves it there. OMG. anyway, lawton had a blast spending the night with his grandparents and sleeping with mommy (extra special)!

daddy has his own little fun week planned - a mini spring break for him actually! i am so excited for him ;-)

eyeing that chocolate cake
obsessed with blowing out candles now!

got it!

when we returned from greensboro monday afternoon, we had another celebration! my great friend katherine turned a solid 28 again ;) and we had a mini celebration with the kids and some cupcakes. she and i are due within a week of one another and she is having another girlfriend for my little wyatt;-) i am so thankful for her friendship, she is there at the drop of a hat and always asking what can she do to help. love you k! happy birthday!

katherine and her daughter leighton

love.

also at the end of the week i will have been to two funerals. one for a friend's husband, and one of a girl who i grew up across the street from. i haven't seen her in 20 years, but i have many memories of her. both of these individuals left us too soon.

monday's funeral spoke to me in so many ways...about when the moment you become a father, the only thing you want to do for your child is make them happy. it is your goal. you do the best you can. you want your children to walk in your journey as best as THEY can. God gives you life and 90% of that is what YOU do with it. this man seemed like a wonderful husband and father. i couldn't help but think about when my dad was diagnosed with cancer 5 weeks before i was getting married. not MY dad. this can't happen, but it did. and he, WE got through it as a family. there were times when i changed my dad's drainage pumps like it was nothing. i knew i would be a good mother at that moment. all I want to do is make my children happy. to let them know they are loved, just as i was.
sometimes it takes challenges in life to really figure out what you can do...to show you that you do have more strength than you think. i think that this week has been a blessing for me.

listening to homilies that speak to my heart.

celebrating my husband who sees the good in everyone and the positive in everything. i need to learn from him. i will learn from him.

celebrating friends who would take the shirt off their back for you.

being there for families that are hurting because of a loss of a loved one. i want to hug them. i want to be there like people have been there for me.