WWH 2 MONTHS!

our sweet wyatt is 2 months!

i honestly don't remember life without him. honestly, i don't remember yesterday ;)

 little camera shy - more interested in lights, tv, etc

 can't forget proud big brother!

2 months :

• no schedule yet. you are waking up usually at 10, 4, and 7. not bad, but again, not consistent all the time!
• getting heavy! can't wait to go to the dr next week to see how luch you weigh!
• you are very a impatient little boy! if i take the bottle out of your mouth for a split second you are screaming at me! like, really mad!
• you are in 3-6 month clothing, mostly because you are LONG and just filling out
• you are starting to look more and more like your big brother
• you started smiling at me a little over 7 weeks! i have been waiting for this and it just makes my heart swell so much -- your smile is like no other...very big, open mouthed and just what the heart needs.
• you are starting to coo which is precious
• you look off a lot. more interested in anything and everything around you. BUT, when someone else besides me is holding you, you look at them! you must get sick of my mug ;)
• you have stopped crying a lot like you used too. i think this medicine is helping so much and also my not eating dairy....thank goodness! no colic for you-- shows how much i know!
• eating every 3 sometimes 2.5 hours 4.5 ounces (this is on here only IF i have another child. can't remember s$it from lawton and it's like he is my first with this feeding stuff!)

my friend courtney came over sunday to meet wyatt. she and wyatt have a connection, as you can see below - he gave her the biggest grin! court is such a great friend and even though she lives in atlanta and we don't see each other often, we pick right back up where we left off. she was so excited to meet lawton and was the same with wyatt. i will never forget her excitement and with lawton, she didn't even have her sweet cannon yet. she always asked me about him and how he was doing and it always made me feel so good. thank you court for always being there and for your emails and calls about wyatt ;) xoxo

o...m....g

the terrible 2's have hit the Hall house.

OMG is all i have to say.

this is where lawton has spent the majority of his time at home.

sad thing is?

he doesn't mind it.

AT-TI-TUDE.

what a trooper....

i am in awe.

in awe of my son wyatt. i truly don't know how he does it.

i don't know how he swallows, how he puts up with the burn in his nose and throat. how he coughs and gets choked up on his saliva. how he damn swallows milk with me shooting it down his throat.

he is a trooper and stronger than i will ever be.

i broke down this morning.

i am tired.

all i want to do is make him comfortable. this week jack and i were woken up 3 times out of a deep sleep to a terrible sound. a sound that no parent wants to hear. we shoot up, flip him forward and slam our hand on his back and suction the spit out that he is choking on. red face, can't breathe, choking. it happened 2 too many times this week. i don't get weak in the knees anymore, i just do it. his small sounds, the gasping, the chokes that scare others don't bother me - i know he is okay...but these, these are different. these are scary.

how does he do it?

i just want him to be comfortable. i want my son to feel okay. it breaks my heart...i pump all day to make him comfortable. to get good antibodies to make him strong. after i feed, i sit up with him for at least 20 minutes to make him comfortable. we don't go anywhere. our schedule is based around that. i can't get in the car after feeding right away because he will throw up and it will burn. can't do it. i can't leave him with just any babysitter...hell, i don't know when the hell he will sleep in his nursery alone.

i smile. i get through the day. most days are great and getting better don't get me wrong. i still look at him every night and ask him how he does it. is he okay? does it hurt? i want to know...but never will.

AND, let's be clear. i am NOT having a pity party for myself. i am documenting how i feel, right now. today. i want to look back at this and remember. 

he hadn't been looking at me. anywhere but me. i worried. i think i talked to everyone about it that would listen. they told me to wait, he was young he would eventually. 

but i didn't get the amnio people. i CHOSE not too.

low and behold, 4 days ago, i get the stares. i get some smiles looking into my eyes. THAT makes my year and everything SO much better.

i caught some faces on my phone and they are blurry but that wide open mouthed smile makes EVERYTHING better.

here is my beautiful, STRONG AS HELL baby boy. 8 weeks today.

it WILL get better. he WILL be comfortable one day.

TRUST BROOKE, TRUST!!

Soccer Shots!

sports have begun!! i have been so excited about getting lawton into sports - he is very athletic (from his father, NOT his mother obvi....although, i did competitive cheerleading...woop!) and once we heard about soccer shots, we were in!

lawton is on a team with his best buddies which makes for a fun afternoon for mommy too ;)

he had his first day tuesday and they were so cute! i was very impressed with how well he listens OUTSIDE of the home ;)

 coach matt going over some exercises with the team

 kemp and lawton doing jumping jacks

 squats..

 running drills...

 and shooting!!

lawton, kemp, court and leighton

 of course baby brother had to be there cheering from the sidelines ;)

i am totally a SOCCER MOM now! all i need is the minivan and the stick figure stickers.....

WWH One month Appointment and the weekend

friday, wyatt had his one month appointment and i was so excited to see how much he weighed and excited to get some of my questions answered.

well.....

WYATT WAS 9.10.2!!! I WAS THRILLED!! i think i giggled like a school girl and kissed him 100 times. Jack had guessed 8.6 and i couldn't wait to text him the good news. i gave myself a big pat on the back - we are on the right track!! and, he was 22 inches long! when i got home, i looked at lawton's one month and he was only 4 ounces bigger than wyatt and was actually 1/4 inch shorter.

 happy mama.

 here is wyatt's wonderful doctor,dr. sullivan. i know she loves all her kids, but i think she has a special place for children with clefts since she herself has a child with one. she loves to get right in and start feeding him and just really makes me feel so good with everything we are doing and especially his weight gain. love her, so happy to have her!

 wyatt was put on zantac for acid reflux because he arches his back a lot and throws out his hands when he eats, which made me think it was burning him. we have been on the meds for a few days and i can already tell a difference. she tested his stool for the milk allergy and it came back positive. DANG. it isn't an allergy because if it was, he wouldn't be gaining weight BUT he does have an intolerance for something dairy that i am eating. i am going to give it up for a few weeks, go back and test his stool again.

do you know how many things have dairy in them? i thought, no prob. i have switched milks already, can give up cheese, sour cream, etc. but goldfish??? my fav granola bars??? peanut butter crackers?? oh man.

oh, and let's not forget the 2 freezers full of frozen milk stashed away - PRE non dairy. sweet.

we'll see in 2 weeks. wish me luck.

saturday, one of my very best friends meredith was in town and came over to meet "mista man" as she calls him. it was love at first sight. he didn't utter a peep in her arms ;) we had a long walk with our boys and talked nonstop - good for the soul.

 sunday funday! sunday we went over to the culps house for some drinks and play.

all the daddies look pretty cute with kids attached to them huh?

the kiddos had a great time

 lawton isn't big on kisses yet....leighton, keep trying girlfriend, one day!!

last night i needed some sleep. i haven't slept for 5 hours straight in 6 weeks which is starting to take a toll. jack took over a few feedings last night and i passed out in lawton's bed at 8:30. woke up and headed upstairs at 2:30 and was up until 5....this pumping is a labor of love, but the sleep was just what the dr ordered.
week 6, here we go!!

First--well, second day of Preschool 2012

since lawton had been sick, he missed the first day of preschool - i wanted to keep him home even though he was feeling better and was no longer running a fever.

cut to day two, his first of preschool.

i loved everyone's pictures of their kids on FB and blogs in their new clothes, smiling on the front steps of their house and school, everyone looked so excited and moms, you looked organized! grrrr ;)

not this kid. we heard about 1000 "i don't want to's!!!" yesterday morning. like, enough to make you want to stick your head in the door and slam it.

"bubs, eat your breakfast" - i don't want to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"let's put on your shoes" - i don't want to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"let's pick up your toys" - i don't want to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"hey, let's take a picture for your first day" - i don't want to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there were also a lot of NO'S involved.

you get the picture.

this earned him a major time out. and no cars for 24 hours. all them put away.

i have to admit, lawton is a good kid. really good. doesn't get punished often. the whining lately has gotten OUT.OF..CONTROL. enter punishment.

we finally put the smack down. things are getting taken away. dinner is at the table with us, NO TV.

i had to do what i could with a newborn and am going to try my best to stick with it.

wish me luck.

SO, here we are! the only pics i could get.

he has just finished crying and is saying cheese.

pitiful huh? but still handsome ;)

when i got home, i downed some advil. wished it was a beer. don't judge.

today was a much better morning. but i still have a headache. getting everyone ready to get out of the house by 8:45 is NOT an easy task. thank goodness i feel secure going in the same clothes i had on yesterday to drop him off ;) just kidding, i changed tops ;)

Labor Day Weekend 2012

this weekend started off great. the ending...not so much.

the barksdales came over friday night with the kids and we had a great time. lawton and bg love each other and we had fun having adults over!! ;)

saturday lawton went to spend the night with aunt karen and jack and i were going to have a peaceful night at home with wyatt. we had a bottle of champagne, watched a movie and ordered chinese. bliss!

until...wyatt was up all night.

picked up lawton sunday morning and he felt hot, so, took his temp. 102.5....ALL WEEKEND.

this morning, 104.7. PANIC. dr. 98.5. WTH?? how can that be?

back home after nap? 102.5....back to sqaure 1.

SO thankful the DNC is here and i have jack home to help. hoping this little guy gets better ASAP. i know he is sick of having a fever for 4 days now and will hate missing his first day of school tomorrow...SO.WILL.I.

we will continue these:

and these.

fever please go away....

next: we think wyatt has colic or acid reflux. the sweet boy cries...a lot. i don't remember lawton crying this much! he isn't very happy when you aren't holding him. we go to the dr friday for our one month appointment and i have a LOT of questions.

i have gone off dairy, will that help? i have given gas meds. i have swaddled. i have fed. i am just confused and want answers so he isn't in pain.

i heard from a friend that her sis in law used this for her son with a open palate for his choking issues and hopefully this will help? it HAS to burn when he spits up and chokes through his nose....poor baby....my heart hurts when both my boys hurt!

a friend of a friend is letting me borrow one and i will get it later this week.

fingers crossed!

it's crazy over here!!!!!!!!

visitors part two

one of my very best friends, wicker was in charlotte for the night and came by sunday morning to meet wyatt. look how he is looking at her ;) he seems to like blondes....

wicker brought the boys the BEST gifts...personalized capes!! Lawton has an L and wyatt an W in opposite colors...can't wait to see them together! as you can see, Lawton LOVES his

on monday, my another one of my very best friends, Laura, drove down from Raleigh to meet wyatt. she brought her kiddos to entertain lawton and he bawled when they left. we had a great, great morning. love you aunt lala!

three little monkeys jumpin on the bed...no one fell off and bumped their head thank goodness.

see that beautiful blonde little girl? she is my goddaughter ;) very proud ;))

so, i take an AC class a the Y and have met the most wonderful girls. we all go to see one another and i really love these girls that have come into my life through working out! i have missed them so much being away and was so glad to have two stop by this week. two Carries!!

Carrie Frank on the L is 15 weeks pregnant with her second - can't wait to see who is in there in a few weeks! My friend Carrie O, is on the right - love these girls! thank you both for the delicious meals ;))

we finally met rory utsey this week! she is 5 days younger than wyatt and her big brother van is 6 weeks older than lawton. think we were on the same schedule? melissa brought the kids over to see each other. lawton was NOT willing to share his toys with van after a long week of sharing with kids at the house. therefore, there was a lot of crying, tantrums, etc. i felt bad for van ;( there was a NAP involved for all of us that day!

sweet boys with their brother and sister ;)

do not even look at that chair on the left. i don't know why jack likes this thing. needs to go. seriously?!