the weekend....ENT, potty training and partying

well.....potty training. 

when people say it is terrible, believe them.

i was prepared. i read a 40 pg manual, i had candy and presents, all kinds of fun underwear, i set up pictures of batman and scooby doo up in the bathroom, and i talked it up BIG TIME.

friday morning he said "i so excited mommy!!" and we were off....

he didn't pee until he took a nap. then not until 6 pm, that time on the potty. we went to the bathroom 100 times friday with him telling me he needed to go, then no, i don't. that is frustrating. i knew he could do it.

saturday, same thing. holding his legs, dying to pee, but wouldn't go in the potty. 

it is hard to not get frustrated and scare them about the potty. to go to the bathroom 100 times and then leave knowing poor thing has to go. but is stubborn as hell. gets that from his father

 i had all this candy and presents and he didnt give a rats a$$....

 so, sunday, i called my friend erin for some advice and she told me to give it up for now. he gets it, he is just testing me. he will do it when he wants. so, diapers are gone. he has underwear and pull ups. he will do it on his own. when i dropped him at school today, he walked in the class saying, "i peed on the potty!!!", so, hopefully with pull ups, he can pee with his friends and learn that way....who knows?!?!? every child is different. i know he can do it. 

friday early morning, wyatt and i had our pre-op visit with dr. mair who is putting his tubes in. he went down his nose with a scope again and put it on the screen for me to see. i saw the epiglottis and he said his laryngomalacia is mild which is great. he is going to go down his trachea at his surgery to see if he has tracheomalacia. so, that and tubes will be first before dr. matthews starts.

the thing i really loved hearing was: he has a good amount of tissue in his mouth, even with his palate being bilateral, so that will be good for speech. AWESOME NEWS.

 wyatt is ALL OVER THE PLACE. sitting up, moving fast. i can place him in the living room and next thing i know he is in the kitchen at my leg trying to pull up for me to hold him. crazy!! time is flying by....

saturday night jack and i went to the Corners Society party at MPCC and had a great time seeing old and new friends. i hardly have a voice today from talking so much - it was the perfect thing after being stuck in the house since thursday ;) can't wait until next year....

oh. and did i mention...

we have a crawler! for a few weeks now, wyatt has been army crawling everywhere....no more leaving the room for me. he is into everything and is fast! goes straight for all the fun stuff...the fireplace, outlets and wires. sweet.

 such determination

snow!

this weekend we had our first snow! this is lawton's first time actually enjoying and playing in the snow and he loved it!

on saturday, jack left for a run and literally 5 minutes later it was snowing....hard. lawton, wyatt and i got all dressed and went outside to play. i kept going to the front of the house to see if jack had turned around...nope...he didn't come back for at least 30 minutes. what weirdo runs in the snow in shorts?!? well, my husband. his excuse? he's an eagle scout. i hear that a lot....very "jack". 

anyway, we played until i couldn't feel my toes anymore and made this superhero come in for a bit until round 2;)

 of course spiderman, the flash, batman and superman came to play

 this is our dog, colbie. she LOVES the snow. this is her hurdling off the deck - she was a hot mess! look at those track marks!

 snow!

 here is my only pic of wyatt in his first snow - turned the camera around hoping for a shot of his face...

mooooooommy, come back out! 

we have a date.....

finally, we have a date for Wyatt's surgery.

MARCH 20, 2013

It has been the elephant in the room for me. i think about it ALL the time. people ask me and i have had no idea. now, its set and its real.

on March 19, 2012, it was my 18 week appointment where we heard our baby had a cleft. the day where jack and i spent staring at each other over lunch. the afternoon where i laid in the chair at the fetal specialist for hours watching them go over every detail that they could of my 18 week old child. it was a scary day and so much was unknown to us. 

then we were blessed with the beautiful boy who i am obsessed with!

now, exactly one year later, the face that my beautiful son was born with, is getting "fixed" as they say. it will be a big surgery with the soft palate being brought together, the nose being built up, and his lip closed. 

here are some up close and personal pics of wyatt's nose and palate opening..

 left side unilateral cleft lip. 90% palate on the left is open. they will "build up" the left nostril because there isn't any cartilage there.

 right side profile

 left side profile

 here is a picture of his palate. many people can't believe how open it is.....they are pretty shocked when they see it. this is how he has had a difficult time eating, etc. bc it just comes up through the nose

 if you look closely, (his left, our right) is a 90% opening (a long line), then it opens up again and he has 10% open on the right palate. so, he is partially bi-lateral palate. his uvula is split in half. during surgery #1, they will close the back and leave that skinny line on the right open (his left hard palate)

i can't imagine how his face will look once it is closed....just as i couldn't imagine how is face would look when he was born.

i would say i'm the lucky one.

i get to fall in love with his face twice.

and to be clear: when i say it is an elephant in the room, it is my thoughts of dreading the surgery....my thoughts of people wondering when i was going to get it fixed. not my thoughts of what people think about wyatt. his face is gorgeous. i am the one that doesn't want it to go away!

the greatest show on earth!

in between all the drs this past weekend, we took lawton to the circus for his birthday on sunday...

and let me tell you, i had the BEST time!

we went with the barksdales and libby and i decided we wanted good tickets if we were going to go. well, we didn't exactly know where they were--

until we kept going down, and down, and down to the SECOND row!

ya'll it was amazing. i just couldn't believe the stunts, the good looking people, the animals...i am going back every year, mark my words!

 these guys were incredible. flipping this way and that way on top of these horses and the horses were beautiful. i want to join the circus

 i seriously wanted to look into becoming a lion tamer. they were kissing on him, obeying everything he said...jumping over one another...like, WHAT?! loved it.

girls were hanging in the air by their hair and twirling, seriously, their HAIR. 

i was like a kid- my jaw dropped at everything that went on ;)  lawton had a great time i think, ate his weight in popcorn and didn't start asking to go home until over 1/2 way through. mama and daddy were not leaving - we were way too entertained.

at the end of the show, this dragon came out and that is when we had to peace out. being on the second row with a 3 year old and this big thing did not work. he now tells me everyday that he does NOT like dragons.

until next year! seriously, look it up. go see them if they are coming to your town- you won't be disappointed

finally some answers...WWH update

this post is basically for my records, so that i can print it out and have it in wyatt's baby book to document illnesses, etc. so, bear with me. if anything, this will educate you and maybe you will learn a thing or two, as i have over the past few weeks.

in between birthday parties and the circus this weekend, we were at the urgent care with wyatt for 2 hours saturday, 4 hours sunday and at the ER monday night for 4 hours as well.

 let me back up a bit. 

january 18. my mom (a new PA) stayed with wyatt for a night when jack and i went out of town. she noticed that he turned grey when sleeping and had a "strider like" sound when he was excited, busy, etc. i, thought these things were our normal. palate related. his coloring. 

on monday january 21 my mom showed up at my house and handed me some information on what she predicted he had. LARYNGOMALACIA. we went to the pediatrician, who sent us to the hospital, where we stayed overnight to measure his oxygen. everything was ok. suggested to see ENT for possible laryngomalacia.

call dr. matthews office to get a referral for dr. mair (pediatric ENT). takes days. they won't give me an appointment until FEB 20th. pissed. defeated.

in comes 14 day ear infection and terrible cold and cough.

thursday jan 31: mom looked in his ear, she thinks double ear infection

friday feb 1: go to dr, ears good. confused but happy that the weekend looks good for everyone!

saturday afternoon feb 2: crying uncontrollably after nap, inconsolable. they say go to the dr if they cry like that for over 30 minutes. go to urgent care. all looks good, even ears. confused. 

sunday afternoon feb 3: breathing labored, wheezing. go to urgent care. taken back immediately because oxygen is 93 (needs to be over 95). get chest and throat x-ray. dr says "she has never seen a throat look like this, it looks a little twisted", (wth??) sending to CMC radiologist, who later says it's clear. feeling uneasy about all that. she says lungs sound good, but wheezing is loud. then proceeds to tell me to sleep with him and watch him. very uneasy. she never looks me in the eye and is on her computer typing away. lesson learned. will always make dr look me in the eye and explain what the hell is going on. says to come back if gets worse, ie:fever. told to see ENT. duh. diagnosed with bronchiolitis.

monday night feb 4: call dr. mairs office and leave detailed message....finally get apoointment for tomorrow. wheezing is very bad. in every breath, there is a bit of a struggle. fever of 101 at 7pm. do not want to go back to urgent care where i didn't get any answers. head to ER. big mistake. takes 1 hour to even get oxygen levels taken. immediately begin to cry. waiting room is packed, i am exhausted, don't want to be around these sick people and just frustrated about no one finding out anything.

get called back. dr doesn't know what it is. (heard that before!) calls in another dr. she says the same. xrays look good but there is narrowing in throat. duh again. respiratory dr comes in and suctions his one nostril. says fever goes with bronchiolitis. what? still NO answers. told to see ENT. thank God we are going tomorrow! go home at 11:15 pm. 

tuesday feb 5: see dr. moss at charlotte ent in matthews. looks in ear, immediately says he has fluid in both ears, they look terrible. that is where fever is from!!!! ANSWER #1 (mom was right!) he says avoid ER and urgent care- they don't know what they are doing. goes down his throat with a camera, says, yes! he has larngomalacia!!ANSWER #2 he will grow out of it, it is not a threat to him, he is okay. i just lost it. finally, i can rest and ease my mind. finally, a diagnosis and again, my mom was right. 

so, diagnosis: mild larynogomalacia with minor prolapse of arytenoids. he has an omega shaped epiglottis. 

In infantile laryngomalacia, the supraglottic larynx (the part above the vocal cords) is tightly curled, with a short band holding the cartilage shield in the front (the epiglottis) tightly to the mobile cartilage in the back of the larynx (the arytenoids). These bands are known as the aryepiglottic folds; they create the movements that opens and closes the vocal cords for phonation. The shortened aryepiglottic folds cause the epiglottis to be curled on itself. This is the well known "omega shaped" epiglottis in laryngomalacia.
Laryngomalacia results in partial airway obstruction, most commonly causing a characteristic high-pitched squeaking noise on inhalation (inspiratory stridor). Some infants have feeding difficulties related to this problem. Rarely, children will have significant life threatening airway obstruction. The vast majority, however, will only have stridor without other more serious symptoms such as dyspnea (difficulty breathing).

i almost hugged dr. moss and once we got into the parking lot, i lost it. i hope this educates some of you - any child can have this. it also comes along with reflux...that is another sign. i know a few of you who read this are pregnant with a child that has a cleft and please know, this might not happen, BUT if you hear those sounds, get him/her checked by an ENT because it may not be palate related, like i assumed. 

being a mother is the hardest job on earth. we want our children to be healthy and happy. i have been so worried and uneasy since our hospital stay in january about these sounds. now i know he is really OK. i took long enough but you have to fight for appointments,  fight for time with these doctors, fight to be understood. make them look at what you think is the problem and not brush it off. a total of 5 doctors looked in his ear and said nothing was there. it took the ENT 2 seconds to say he has terrible ears and that he would need tubes. 

thank you to my friends for the texts and calls. i have been living in my own bubble of sick peeps over here. i have also not found out the exact date of wyatt's surgery which is also VERY frustrating. i know that i am lucky (he is lucky) to wait in line with dr. matthews, but again, as mothers, we have to call, call, call and keep these people on their toes. it's exhausting.

so, if you haven't heard form me in a while, this is where i'm at. i am keeping a bit to myself. soaking up every last moment with this face before it is forever changed. thank you everyone for your unconditional support for our family. we love you!

THREE!

this weekend, my first baby turned 3. when people say time flies, BELIEVE THEM. it does. 

i wanted to do something fun for lawton that would involve lots of his best buddies and not be at our house. 

charlotte just got a new krispy kreme and that was the perfect place!

lawton had 15 of his closest buddies come for donuts galore ;)

 birthday boy!

(three cars tee from here)

 mini crayon donuts as party favors (can get here)

 tiny fingers trying to pick his special donut out

 batman waiting on his buddies

 robert and leighton ;)

 court ;)

 holden ;)

 tate and thomas ;)

james ;)

wyatt, libby and betsy grace

crazy leighton and kemp ;)

it was chaotic, but the perfect place to have a cheap birthday party! the kids had fun, the parents had coffee and donuts as well and everyone was outta there by 10 to enjoy their saturday.

that night, we had family over to celebrate and open presents. again, low key (my motto these days) and perfect.

 uncle trent and our crawler!

 it was the year of batman and his super friends. obsessed!

my sweet lawton,

you are a wonderful little boy. kind, caring, thoughtful at times ;), smart, athletic, impatient, a bit demanding, hilarious little boy. your dad and i are so proud to be your parents! you are a great big brother. wyatt lights up when you walk into the room, whether you are sharing with him or not ;). we love you so much. you are a bright light to the days which seems a bit dark to us. i love you so much!!

some things about you as a THREE year old:

• you weigh 38 pounds. wearing 4T clothes
• still wearing diapers - we will get there!
• you love batman, cars, masks, capes, anything superhero
• you want to watch scooby doo and tell me you aren't afraid of monsters
• you are very demanding. get me this, i want this, turn this on, read me this....;)
• you don't get in trouble often, but when you do it is for being a bit cocky and full of it (sounds like your father)
• you are independent and do a lot for yourself and like it that way. you can also play for hours with your toys by yourself
• you love your brother. you don't want to hold him (not that he would stay), but you want to see him when you wake up, you always give him a kiss and hug when you are going into school, you are concerned for him, BUT you aren't into sharing your toys with him.
• you are not a fan of jackets or hats.
• you give the best hugs and kisses
• you are shy when in big crowds (except at your birthday which was great!) and usually play alone unless a few of your closest friends are there. (betsy grace, kemp, leighton and van particularly)
• my favorite things you say "comehere mommy, i show you!", "you pway wiff me?", lemme give you a kiss and a huuuuuuuggg!", ""i don't know" (said like "i don't know margo! in christmas vacation), "i want panpakes", when you sing Jesus Loves Me with me when i am putting wyatt to sleep. and many more....
• your favorite song is "gangnam style" and you run around holding your crotch to it. (thanks cousin will!) and scream gangnam star!
• your favorite books are : Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site, Cars 2 point and find, Where the Wild Things Are, When Jesus Came to My House, Garbage Barge.
• you now ave to have a cup of water by your bed at night and also a big marshmallow before bed as your dessert.
• you sleep with one lamp on in your room (???)
• you are obsessed with tackling and putting us all "in jail"

i could go on, but these are just a few things about "you"

love you my sweet lawton knox hall!!