one more day

things are starting to get real now.

i have packed lawton up for his aunts....clothes, books, book bag, lunch stuff, cape, mask, everything he needs.

i have packed wyatt up:

comfy blankets, new toys/balls to play with pre surgery to keep him happy with no food, some books i pulled out from the basement that he has never seen before to hopefully distract him from his pain, a few aden and anais swaddles for comfort, lots of pajamas, his haberman for when/if he wants to eat.

now for me, nothing. i have no idea what to pack this time. i basically stayed in leggings and didn't take a shower, looked like hell really.

guess i just need my basic comfy clothes since i will be in and out of a crib for 30 something hours. 

i have started to get a big queasy.....my candy isn't attractive to me at all. this happened last time. i didn't eat candy for a few months after wyatt's surgery. i don't know why, but i couldn't stand it (hello, my name is brooke and i am a candyaholic) and today, i tried to eat some gummis and they were so unappealing. in the trash they went. nothing tastes good. i eat to live basically.

we have been in seclusion at home for 10 days now. the boys are doing great, but i know they want to go to the playground, just be normal kids. we have been outside a lot, in our own driveway, away from everyone and anyone. sunday we went to target as a family, and i had wyatt in our own stroller, jack pushed the cart (after wiping it down big time) and made lawton hold his hand and not touch anything. we are taking this serious people. we can't afford for someone to get sick. 

tomorrow night lawton goes to my aunt's house and we will be at the hospital wednesday morning at 5:30....

i am currently drinking wine because who knows when the next time will be for me. last time it was weeks! 

so, cheers to my sweet boy. i hate that you have to go through this, wyatt. i wouldn't wish it on anyone. but God made you this way. made you the one to endure this and knew that you could do it and deal with the challenges you will face. He knew that we were the parents for you. the ones that would have to/learn to be strong for you. He knew that we were blessed with the most amazing families and friends, who we consider family as well that will be your backbone and pray for you, encourage you and love you throughout life. 

you can do this my love. we will be there EVERY step of the way, watching you in awe. 

i have said it before and i will say it again, you are my hero. you are stronger than i will ever be.

cheers my love.