Happy 1st Birthday William Wyatt! what a year.....

one year ago, i gave birth to a little boy that changed our lives forever.

there was so much unknown, so much to learn, and so much love.

i was shocked that i was having you in JULY. you were due august 16th and i thought you would come early, but july?! I truly think God did that to let my anxieties go away, so that i could see you, hold you, protect you and love you.

william wyatt hall 6 pounds 14 ounces

it took a few weeks for us to get on track with the bottles, you lost some weight in the beginning, once we got going, you were good. daddy and i got up countless times in the nights for me to pump, while someone else pumped the bottle to feed you, then keep you upright so that  we were sure you didn't choke. you slept in the middle of us for months, upright because it was best for you, dr's orders. there were a few times when we woke suddenly to you choking and wyatt, let me tell you, you have really scared this mama! BUT, you pulled though the feedings and taught me along the way.

 we thought from the moment you came into our lives you were perfect. i knew when i found out that you would have a cleft, you would be beautiful. look at you! you were and are! people would look at you and smile -- everyone loves a baby, but one that smiles like you? different story. you smiled through your blue eyes and that gummy wide grin. still do. you are a happy, healthy boy.

 after we got our routine down, we had a easy few months ;) your smile is so contagious and i began to really get sad when i thought about your upcoming surgery to change your face. i knew it would be for the better for you speech wise, eating, etc, but as a mother, i was so in love with this face that i was very sad to never see your cleft again.

 but as you can see, this needed to be done.

so, i had to have a photo shoot to capture every single look, every emotion, all the little things you did with your face and lauren jackson hit the nail on the head!! i got everything i needed!

then surgery day was here, march 20. the moment they wheeled you away, i was a wreck. i would never see you with your cleft again. it was emotional to say the least. i had no idea what you would look like, just like the day you were born. we waited, and our family and friends were beside us to keep things light and let us try to forget where we were for a few hours. i have to say, it helped so much, i actually had a good time and knew you were taken care of....see, my friend ali set up a prayer list for you for every 15 minutes of the day. you had so many people praying for you. some knew you, some didn't. God heard all of these prayers for you and i knew you would be okay. after 5 long hours, we were told we could see you.

 do you know how much i love you?? well wyatt, i love you more than i could have ever imagined. i feel so lucky because i got to fall in love with your smile twice. dr. matthews did an incredible job. from the moment we saw you after surgery, i couldn't place your face with the cleft in my mind. i am thankful for the pictures and videos, but we haven't stepped back from that day. you were a trooper. you didn't bruise like most patients. you took bottles right away unlike most patients. you my dear, are a strong little boy.

 this pic was taken a few days after surgery.....seriously??? your spirits returned, it took a while, but once you felt better, you were back. we had a very very rough 5-6 weeks post surgery. long nights, i slept with you every night so that you wouldn't turn on your nose or lip.....i ran a few red lights somewhere in there because i was a zombie. after a few weeks we got a night nurse a few nights a week and what a blessing that was---sleep for mom!

 you had to wear tubes in your nose for 4 months but again, you were a trooper. never messed with them, but put up a fight everytime i had to put them in, which was EVERYDAY. it was a pain for you.....i felt so sorry for you BUT, you needed them. we had to do it. and again, i fell in love with your face with tape all over it!

now, NO MORE TUBES!!! you are ONE!!!! got your tubes out today!! you are GORGEOUS just like the day you were born. 

 you are SUCH  joy. your eyes speak volumes. you are happy, you are a mama's boy, you love your brother so much, you love to throw the ball, you now love to eat real food and are doing so well at learning to chew! food still comes out of your nose, but that will change at the next surgery in a few months.

 you can climb the stairs and go down them backwards, you stand for a few seconds but haven't taken any steps yet. you say "mama" and are trying "bye bye", you have never met a stranger and smile at everyone you see. your favorite thing to do is wave.....mostly at yourself in mirrors and anyone you see ;)

 you give the best hugs and wrap your little hands around my neck every morning when i get you up. you are sleeping wonderfully. you have 5 teeth and have started biting my shoulder and it hurts!!! we call you "stinker" and "love bug". you love the pool and bath, you hate putting on clothes or diapers. you are into EVERYTHING.

 we love you more than i can put into words. you have changed us for the better. shown us what true beauty  and courage is. you have a long road ahead of you with surgeries, dentists, speech, etc but i KNOW you will be a rockstar in it all. you have a drive in you that i witnessed on your first day of life when you tried so hard to eat and never gave up until finally your dad and i learned how to feed you. you were just waiting on us ;) we will do everything together wyatt, as a family. 

you my dear, you completed us. 

happy birthday love bug.