WWH surgery update

like i said before, i need to write when i am feeling a certain way.

right now, i am upset, crying, scared and proud.

we met with dr. matthews and had a great appointment. first thing he said was "someone has gained some weight!" which means (in his words) everything is working well in him. this shows him that his airway is good (interesting) and he is good at eating, etc.

we discussed the upcoming surgery and future surgeries.

he will operate when wyatt is between 6-7 months now (feb, march) and it will be a 4.5 hour surgery. i was taken aback. i thought for some reason is was a simple lip closure. not in wyatt's case. he will close the soft palate (in back), the lip and cut under the nose to close that and also build up his left nostril to look like the right. i think i started sweating then.

i know that he is doing what is best and easiest at the time, but 4.5 hours scares the heck out of me. i am going to be a WRECK.

next comes the hard palate at a year old.

next at 3 yrs old, he will bring down the part where he is missing a tooth.

next at 4 yrs old, he will take a bone graft from his hip or a cadaver and put it up in the hard palate because there isn't enough bone up there for growth.

i think i have been in denial. i have heard the words "bone grafts" from other people, but not our wyatt. well, yes, our wyatt. i am guessing we will go with his hip, which he will have a scar and i asked if he would be in pain and the answer was yes, for a bit.

i put on a happy face until i talked to my mom, then i let go.

i am scared but i know this is best. i don't want a second opinion because all i have heard is to trust this man. you don't ask them to put a new pilot on the plane because he goes a different route from others do you? no. you trust the pilot to get you from A to B.

when my dad had cancer, they operated immediately. some do treatment first, then operate. we trusted his doctor and in the end, he is 5 years out and great.

TRUST is such a huge word in my vocabulary lately that i NEED to keep telling myself.

TRUST in the Lord and Dr. Matthews healing hands for my son, on all of his surgeries.

one day at a time i guess right?

still, i am so connected to this child, it is tearing at my heart right now when i look at him that in just a  few short months, he will have surgery to correct the face that God gave me.

that face is the one i fell in love with.

that smile is the biggest, most precious smile.

i feel so so blessed in ways that wyatt had this. i hate it for him for the years that he will have to deal with dentists, surgeons and speech therapists, but honey, when you read this one day, that is what makes you, YOU.

WILLIAM WYATT HALL,

you are so special and you are stronger than your mother will ever be.

i love you more than you can ever know!