Christmas was a success!

we had a great Christmas this year!

Christmas eve we had our annual brunch with my aunt, uncle and cousins and then we just relaxed at home until we went over to my parents for dinner.

Joanna left Christmas eve morning, so we missed her, but know we will get to celebrate with her from now on!

 best uncle ever....loves these boys so much and is so good with them. he is going to be a great daddy one day!

 my handsome husband

 after dinner and drinks, we headed home to wait for santa! the boys threw some carrots in the yard for the reindeer and set out some cookies for the big guy!

Lawton started spouting out things that he couldn't wait for santa to bring him....things I have never heard him say before....ummm...santa was already over in Australia and couldn't go back to the north pole for those items....

 

we woke up at 7:15 and Lawton was ready to go! I came downstairs to see what santa brought, start the fire, turn on the lights and get the casseroles out while daddy woke up wyatt and held the boys back from charging down the stairs!

we have video of them first seeing their goodies ;)

hopefully we will have a kitchen table soon -- it takes a while to get a house up and running! for now, this was the perfect place to set out the goal

 ninja turtles are ALL the rage and all over my house...uggghhh

 new planes, ninja turtles, batmans, car carriers, boys toys galore

 Lawton got a new taller scooter, pjs, a ninja turtle wii game, a putter and ball, etc

 wyatt loved opening up presents - this was such a fun age with him!

they also both got new soccer goals and daddy got the family a hammock for the back yard.

 

my parents and brother came over around 8 and we ate and leisurely open presents which I love...

one at a time, slowly. doesn't work for a lot of people, but it does for us!

 new basketball from uncle trent and Joanna!

 dad finally got a new camera! he has been using an olympus from seriously maybe 1990. he has to roll the film and get it developed!! ;) he loved it and we know change is hard, but he will like the 2000 era ;)

we then packed up and got in the car to head to Fayetteville to celebrate with jack's family

Lawton and wyatt couldn't wait to see their cousins!

 we got will a hornets jersey - happy boy! this kid is a sports fanatic and only wears jerseys ;) sooo...naturally, now Lawton only will wear his 3 jerseys everywhere....sweet.

 mandy, dale and the kids got new dogs and I am so in love!! this is sweet ellie ;)

 all the hall cousins

 me and sweet emmie - love her so much!

 and...wonderful billy. so lucky to have him as my father in law! the most selfless and heroic man I know.

 lots of football practice

 mandy and uncle hugh and the cutest dogs on the planet!

 the hall/brown families

again, a wonderful Christmas - no one was too sick - I didn't have a voice for a few days, which may be good for me sometimes ;) my nickname for when I was little was motor mouth ;) and billy had a bad chest cold, but otherwise, we were all healthy which is a miracle in itself. so thankful for the family time we had over the holidays - we are blessed!

Meet Joanna Party

 

last night, we had a little family party to "meet Joanna" at Leroy fox - perfect place for a small party.

I felt bad for her - we have a pretty big family, so I knew it would be a little overwhelming for her!

the big thing to celebrate was that they decided on a place to get married, so the date is set!

September 2015, can't wait!

 the cute couple

 my dad and his brother tommy - these two were 2.5 years apart like my boys and have SO many stories about torturing each other - one has a butcher knife involved!

they are the best of friends now ;)

 my cousin tommy and his wife, jen and their boys tommy and aeden. aeden and Lawton will be one year apart in school at costwald - so excited for them to be together!

my cousins Rachel and riley, aka the best babysitters around ;)

 my dad and tommy and their sister jennie

 me and my girls

 tommy, uncle tommy, david, aunt pam and cousin leslie

 Joanna and trent asked Lawton to be their ring bearer at the wedding last night - I will cry seeing him in a tux! he is so excited to be a part of this special day.....wyatt on the other hand...well, that kid is too reckless to have a part in it!

wow....so social right??

kids these days....

so excited about having Joanna join our family - she makes trent so happy and they are perfect for each other ;)

let the wedding celebrations begin!! 

Xmas supper club

we have had supper club now for 5 years I think! these are my best friends and who I turn to.

we always have the BEST time and it is always a late night full of laughing until you cry or I do...multiples times

Sammy and jane joined us for dinner at the chapmans which was a bonus!

 Elizabeth, allan,brooks, myself, Katherine, jane

 Sammy, royer, ian, dan, dallas and jack

 we had a fun wine game where you bring 2 of the same bottles and wrap one. everyone tastes and picks which one they like the best. whomever brought the bottle that one, takes home all the extra bottles that we brought that were not opened.

so fun!

 brooks and dan (he slept under the tree that night....tells you how much fun we had!)

 e and ian

 it ended up getting rowdy/raunchy/late!

 laughing until we cried!

our wonderful hosts ;) there are more pics to share, but I am not sure people would appreciate it! ;) ha! again, another year down and can't wait to see what 2015 brings for all of us!

neighborhood christmas party

we love our new neighborhood!

this weekend we had a great Christmas party and it was nice to see our neighbors and meet most of them as well!

it was also fun to dress up a bit and get into the spirit ;)

 I never have anything to wear to something like this...I am not a dress gal and I don't particularly like heels. I wish I could wear my workout gear everywhere I go!

when we came home at midnight, this little guy had a fever of 102.7.

I had to miss the panthers game (would have been my 1st in 5 years!) to stay home with him on sunday but it was nice actually...got lots of baking done and we just relaxed.

 

jack on the other hand went to the game and had too good of a time.

look at shorty here trying to pass out in the middle of the living room floor?!

 I guess he assumed he would roll in and catch some zzzzz's....

I think NOT.

after this, he was like "do you not see this and why don't you stop it?"

ummmm...because you have been gone for 8 hours and I don't feel bad that for you ;)

as for the background mess....I pick up after my kids 24/7. this is what happened in a 3 minute span

Will you have a 3rd?

this is a question I get asked ALL THE TIME.

I ask it too, I admit. and I don't know why? conversation piece?

i also am guilty of saying "i don't know how you do it" to mothers of 2+ children. i now realize that it may not be very nice....but it is true! i think those mothers are amazing!! i wish that i had the patience and guts to have more!

the answer for us is no. I will not have any more children.

 

does it make me a bit sad? right now? yes. 1 year ago? no. i was too overwhelmed. i STILL get very overwhelmed.

do i feel complete? maybe? I'm not sure??

 

I think a lot of people ask me because I have 2 boys. well, don't you want a girl? not particularly....I just want a easy newborn. i also want to give birth again. i love giving birth and think it is the most rewarding moments in my life. i felt so strong, so capable of anything. i felt like superwoman. i long to feel that way again.

 

one of my very best friends has 2 boys and just welcomed a beautiful baby girl. i see her pictures and I feel the longing. longing for a newborn. one that is easy, doesn't have feeding problems, acid reflux and one that I am not scared to death of doing something wrong.

 

with Lawton, he was my first. I had no idea what i was doing. we were at the ER when he was 3 weeks old because I gave him medicine the wrong way. he threw up all the time after eating. I had no clue, but the kid probably had reflux. he had the stomach bug 4x before he turned 1. i freaked when he had a fever. he had breathing problems and it scared us. he slept in our room in the swing for months. I had a flashlight by my bed and woke up at the time to flash it on him to see if he was breathing.

he choked ALL. THE. TIME. I swiped that kids mouth so many times I can't count. he didn't have a grape that I didn't cut up until the was 3 I bet. I was scared to death.

 

then, everyone said my second would be easy.

 

that wasn't in my cards.

the feeding, the choking the reflux, the scariest times in my life was raising wyatt from birth to one year. scariest. time. of. my. life.

he slept with me, in between jack and i (in a queen bed at the time no less) for MONTHS. we woke numerous times to him choking.

obviously, I wouldn't change a thing because it made me a better mother. it made me strong as hell. it made me smart.

 

I want to use those smarts on another child. I want one that I can leave for a second and say, wow, what a wonderful baby....so easy!

 

but, i can't.

I can't go there. my heart can't take the anxiety of being pregnant again and the anxiety of the unknown. will anything go wrong? will I be able to handle it if it does?

the answer is no.

 

I also love working too....I like being "me" and I think if I had a 3rd, I wouldn't get that for a long time again. I took almost 2 years off of work to take care of wyatt, and some days I lost myself.

 

i also have 2 very rambunctious boys. i look at mothers who have 3 and envy the patience, the time they are able to give and again, the PATIENCE they have. i wish that was me. but, the mama is on some Lexapro and that is OK!!

 

 i am happy. i am full. i can still envy and coo over a friends or a strangers baby and have a twinge of longing, but i check myself right then and there and know that it isn't in our plan. and, i will move on.

i LOVE being a mother to 2 boys. never in my life did i think that i would be playing ninja turtles and letting my kids wear jerseys (the horror!) and loving it. i love not fixing hair. i love not caring much about what they wear. i love my life. so, no, i will not be
trying" for a girl ;)

 

i look back at the blog and see the trying times....the ones where i cry to friends and let out my issues in writing and i am thankful for days like these that make me write about my feelings and by the end of it, i am more thankful for what i have and not about what my mind tells me. i have had to learn to listen to more of my heart this past year than ever. the mind can play tricky games.

 

more power to you moms of 2+ kiddos! so cool!! and to the moms of one and two kids, tell people to stop asking us for more more more!!! why can't be be happy with what we have got right??



Lawton's 1st Christmas Pagent Thingy

first of all, I am in a MUCH better place than the beginning of last week.

I had the blues, but I am better ;) life is all ups and downs!

 

today was a great day.

my mother in law came into town last night and stayed with us and I booked out from work just in case so I could be here to watch Lawton's Christmas show.

jack unfortunately flew out this morning and had to miss it ;(

 

it is all the 4's - full care and half day that put on the "show"

 the moment the singing started, I was a bawling mess.

 the sweetest voices were singing Christmas carols and I just couldn't keep it together. It was so special

 such a great way to get into the spirit of Christmas and made me just light up!

 this is Lawton and his best buddy vance, who luckily will be going on to kindergarten with him at cotswald next year - they are growing up so fast....

here's to 0 stage fright and sobs of joy!